Sunday, December 31, 2017

2018 Theme Song

Hello my lovely friends! I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season and are as excited for the New Year as I am.

Today I am supposed to talk about my theme song for 2018. As you may know, every year I pick out a theme song for the year. I've been doing this since I graduated high school and it's something that means a lot to me because music is such an important and special influence in my life.

Usually, I have thought about my song choice extensively for months and have the song picked out by November (because the past few years everytime November hits I'm ready for the New Year). This year was the hardest to pick out a song. In fact, I'm not even 100% behind my song choice. I blame the past few months of learning to be a mom and to be unemployed. My life is SO different than it's ever been and I think it's hard to adjust to that. My usual habits and tendencies are hard to go back to considering I'm suddenly a stay-at-home mom of two.

While I did end up choosing a specific song for 2018, I made an entire playlist of songs to help motivate me through the year. I'll go over it below and my reasoning behind them.

Overall, I wanted a song that would motivate me to do something outside my normal comfort zone. If you aren't a regular blog reader of mine, I have depression and social anxiety and can be an all over emotional wreck a lot of the time. I tend to stay in my private little box, too afraid to take risks and go after my dreams for fear of failing. This year I want to get outside that box and change my life.

A few weeks ago I finally was inspired by a song that came on over my Spotify. As I mentioned, I'm not completely obsessed with my theme song as I usually am, but that's why I have a whole playlist.

Anyways, my theme song for 2018 is "I Lived" by One Republic. 

There are so many lyrics in this song that just speak to me, so it's difficult to go over which ones I want for 2018 without quoting the whole song. But I think more than anything, I love the actual title of the song. I LIVED.

When I was seventeen years old I was suicidal and made a few attempts at ending my life. I had no idea as a teenager that my life would end up like this: married to my soulmate with a cute dog and the most adorable baby girls. I don't believe seventeen-year-olds make the smartest decision, but by far the greatest decision of my entire life was to not end it.

I survived my teenage years. I survived college and the struggles I went through there. I survived cutting myself, sexual assault, and a miscarriage and have ended up today in the best place I think my life has ever been in. I survived so much pain and I hope to continue to fight through every struggle that is thrown at me.

However, no matter how grateful I am for my life so far, I feel as if I've merely been surviving each day. I want to live each day. I want to wake up every morning with an excitement for each day and the possibilities it could bring. I want to end this year quoting the song: "I owned every second that this world could give."

I want to plan adventures for not just myself, but for my husband and my daughters. I want us to make memories to last a lifetime. But I think more than anything, I want to build an excitement for life in my daughters that I never had. I know they're young, they won't remember this year, but I want to get into the habit of giving my children opportunities and excitement.

2018 is about living life to the fullest and I'm excited for this year and creating the best year ever.

Now real fast I'm going to go over my playlist. I subtitled this as my "Power Playlist" because it's all songs that motivate me to get up and do something. These are great workout song, hype songs, and dancing song. This playlist is great for so many things and I am already so obsessed with listening to it all the time. I'm sure I'll continue to add new songs throughout the year because this is my "Power Playlist" and if I find a new song that empowers me, it belongs.

Quick note, the first part is all females because originally that's what I wanted: female empowerment. But honestly, no power playlist is complete without "Butterflies and Hurricanes" by Muse, so I broke the original rules, but I'm so happy with this playlist I wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you pick out a theme song for the year? Let me know yours in the comments below!! 

Sunday, December 10, 2017

3 Months Old

My baby girls are three months old today!! Here are a few more facts about them not shown on their chalkboards.

-Only in the past month have we started reading to them. They are loving it though and just wiggle around when it's storytime.

-These girls LOVE their pacifiers and almost always have them in their mouths.

-They are smiling now, but it's rare and super hard to get on camera. But if you follow my Instagram account (@_cowgirlkaylee_) I post a lot to my story and you can see more smiles on there.

-Nicknames: Lately we've been calling Makell "Mini Marshmallow" because of her adorable chubby cheeks but we have always called her Miss Makell. For Zoey we stick with Zo or Miss Zo.

-My girls are on a specific "no spit-up" formula, but they almost never spit-up anymore even when we try them on other formulas. So yay!

-Zoram is now more into them and loves to lick their feet and hands, and the girls love him back. They stare at him a lot and seem to enjoy him. I'm glad my girls won't be afraid of dogs like I was the majority of my life.

-They love hugging blankets which is so like their mom.

-My girls are not afraid of strangers and will let anyone hold them or get near them. We think the NICU prepared them for that because of all the different nurses taking care of them.

-Chris and I think they're getting so big, but then we see other three-month-old babies and realize how little ours are. They're premies though so it makes sense. And little petite girls are adorable.

-They can both basically hold their heads up. I don't really have to support their heads anymore, but I also don't trust them in certain circumstances.

-They love going on adventures with mom and dad in their carriers. (See my Instagram account.)

-They are out of newborn clothes. The onesies they're pictured in are actually newborn, but tight, so this is the last time for these pink ones.

-They are very chill babies who can entertain each other and don't cry that often. But every now and then they just get irritated and it looks a bit like this. But still, they're very calm and quiet.

-Unless they're hungry, in which case, they scream.

-Starting this past week they sleep about ten hours straight at night, which would be lovely if my dog hadn't gotten used to middle of the night feedings, and now Zoram wakes me up instead of them.

-These pictures don't do their cuteness justice, so here's them with Santa.

(They're both looking over at me on the side. They honestly love staring at me. No complaints with that.)

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Stocking Stuffers For The People In My Life

Ironically, the year I'm living in an apartment with a fireplace, I don't have stockings. I had plans to make some but don't have the money yet. But I don't mind too much since my girls aren't aware enough to notice or care. And they're still getting gifts so it doesn't matter.

Below I've made short lists of stocking gift ideas for all different types of people that I see commonly in my own life. Because they are stocking stuffers, I tried to stick with as cheap as possible. Also, can I get a shout out for writing most of this post on my phone because my laptop wasn't working? It's so hard to do this on a phone!


Let's start with a category I'm most familiar with because I'm a part of it. I highly recommend 642 Tiny Things To Write About and Q&A a Day. I have both of these and while I don't use them as much as I should, they are both great for helping boost creativity. Notebooks and pens and pencils are always great items as well.


While you can always give them dog or cat toys directly, most things with an animal, or specifically their animal is appreciated. For example, I have a sheltie so dogs like Lassie appeal to me more. People also tend to give me cow or cow print items because they know I'll appreciate it. Keychains, notebooks, stuffed animals, and mugs are great go-to items.


I'm now (mostly) a stay at home mom. It was a weird and hard transition for me, but totally worth it. For someone taking care of kids all day, great gift items include slippers or comfy sucks, books, music, baby toys to entertain the little ones, and... I'm often told wine, I personally don't drink so I don't know what wine drinkers enjoy, but if you know the recipient is a fan then go for it!


Ah music. I'm obsessed. As a music lover, I'm always a fan of CDs, iTunes giftcards, and headphones.


I always appreciate new makeup tools and products to play around with. There are literally too many options out there and most makeup items can fit within a small budget. Just visit Ulta or your local drugstore to get good prices on fun items.


I love having a husband with a beard. Beards are sexy. Beards also take a lot of upkeep. Similar to makeup, there are a lot of options out there, you just have to go look.


Being a nerd or geek is the best. I think everyone has something that they're a nerd about. For me, it's Arrow and Sherlock. For Chris, it's Star Wars. For my sister, it's Harry Potter. Though I'm positive all of us have a lot more nerdy-loves as well. One of my favorite Christmas gift ideas is to find that person's nerdy side and just go with it!


Bakers and cooks are fairly easy, because buying simple cooking tools can be really cheap (you can get like anything from the Dollar Store). Because it's so easy, it's fun to make it cute. Like giving ingredients for a cookie recipe in a mason jar, or wrapping wooden spoons in pot holders. There are tons of cute ideas on Pinterest for this one. 


This one can get more expensive, but it doesn't always have to. Headphones, water bottles, sweat towels, and other small items to help out a gym goer are always appreciated. 

These are the most common people in my own life, but hopefully, this gives you an idea for other types of people as well. Buying stocking stuffers doesn't have to be expensive, in fact, I typically go to the Dollar Store for most things, it's all about being creative, finding a person's niche, and having fun with it. Overall, people will love you just for the effort you make to get them a gift. 

What category do you fall into or which one did I miss that relates most to you? Let me know down below!! Thanks, you're a hero! 

Friday, December 1, 2017

My Christmas Wishlist

Hello, friends and welcome to December!! I am doing Vlogmas this year, which, we'll see if I can actually complete it, but I'm determined to post a short video every day til Christmas. So if you aren't already, go subscribe to my YouTube channel to watch all the videos. And wish me luck. But because of that, I will also have more blog posts this December that relate to or go with the videos, so follow me on all my social media accounts to be notified of those.

I'm working on designing an awesome emailing list, where each email would give you recent highlights from my blog and other projects, a preview of upcoming projects, and a special message to my readers. I'm hoping it'll be ready for the New Year, but this month may get a little too crazy. But be on the lookout for that and then you'll always know what's been happening with me and my blog!

If I'm being honest, my real Christmas wishlist are things that other people can't get me. Like getting me into the new apartment that I want. There's a big waiting list so I'm out of luck there for a while. I also really want a Mac PC, but that's completely unrealistic to ask for as a gift. So is asking for a second car, which we really want/need. So in this post, I'm sticking to the more realistic things I'm wanting.


If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen my sad tweet about getting a hole in my favorite (and albeit, oldest) pair of pajama pants. I'm super upset about it because they were perfect. They were long, soft, not too thick and hot, and were black, white, and silver, AKA, my life esthetic. So yeah, I'm upset, especially since I don't have many other options and do laundry specifically for those pants. But now they're dead, I'm sad, and I need some new ones.


I love these things! We currently have Jon Snow, Moriarty, BB-8, and R2D2. But Chris and I have a running list of ones we want. We need Rey from Star Wars and Luna from Harry Potter because those are our twin's middle names. But I also really want an Oliver Queen/Green Arrow one, more Sherlock ones, like all the Harry Potter ones, Toothless, and there's a ton more I want. I think they're super cute and fun and show our nerdy side because Chris and I can be big nerds.


I'm just a huge fan! I love comfort and snuggling and it really bothers me that in my entire marriage (coming up on five years now, yay us) we have never had throw pillows on our bed! I know Chris does not like them, but it's not like I want a million. Just a few good ones to make the bed a bit cozier. Plus, in my history, when I have throw pillows I'm more likely to make the bed because I want it to be pretty. So... win.


I want a couple mirrors actually, but what I really need is a full-length mirror. Storytime! So during my pregnancy, I was ridiculously swollen, but I never had a full-length mirror, so I honestly didn't realize how big and swollen I was. It wasn't until I saw my sister's wedding photos that I really saw the full length of myself and I was a little shocked by it. And if I was so in denial and unaware then, then maybe I still am a bit too. I really want one.


Except, if you're actually buying me Christmas presents, maybe don't. Because I'm super picky when it comes to rugs apparently. Why else would I still not have a rug in an apartment with no carpet? I've looked around but honestly, I just cannot decide or don't have the sufficient funds (ha, when do I ever have money to buy anything?).


I have a carefully mapped out plan to post one fashion post on this blog every week next year. But I absolutely HATE my current wardrobe. I know what I want, I have a plan, but I'm being stopped to completely change my wardrobe by two things: I'm not at my ideal weight and still have some pregnancy weight to lose and, again, the money thing. It's really hard to make money when you're forced to leave your job because you can't afford daycare, but if you can't work then you can't afford your lifestyle and sometimes even your rent. Honestly, one of the first things I said in this post was that I want to move to the other apartment we have picked out because it'll save us so much money and will just be a better situation for us all around. If I had known we were having twins, we would not have moved to this current apartment. But... anyways... I want clothes.


I love when people buy things for my girls. I want to buy stuff for them all the time, but, again, money. But buying cute baby girl clothes is something I'm more likely to go out and buy because it's just too cute. Funny how becoming a mom changes your priorities. I also just want books. Lots of books. All the books. I grew up reading all the time and then college stopped my reading habits (I also think it had to do with getting a laptop and internet access...). I'm trying to get back into reading this year and I want my girls to grow up surrounded by books and reading. Reading is the best.


Zoram needs a bed. He's so cute and has a specific place by my side of the bed and I put a pillow there that he rests his head on, but I'm sure he'd appreciate a bed of his own, even if he sticks to his usual habits and only puts his head on it. Also, those throw pillows in the following widget are just the best things I've ever seen seeing as all day long Zoram is in my bed sleeping.


Lastly, I want video editing software (which I'm still debating on which one I want), an external hard drive, a computer that doesn't freeze and shut down every other day, a camera stabilizer, and for someone to give my blog a makeover. Yep. None of this I actually expect to get for Christmas. It's more on my "saving up for" list. AKA, I want money for Christmas.

What's on your Christmas Wishlist? Let me know in the comments below! Thanks for reading, you're a hero!! 

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