Friday, April 14, 2017

My Snow White Skirt | Fashion Friday

Shirt: Forever 21
Shoes: Ross

Wow, looking at these photos I can't believe I thought I looked fat. Especially now that I'm 14 weeks pregnant with twins and have a real belly now. I took these photos months ago and recently found them on my camera and decided to post them because I am obsessed with this skirt. I got it for Christmas from my mom after she saw me fall in love with it at Kohls. It's part of their Lauren Conrad/Disney Snow White collection. Unfortunately, this skirt is not available anymore. But they do have another super cute one still available and that's the one linked above.

I also just love my hair in these photos. I hope my pregnancy sickness goes away and I can start doing more with my hair again because currently, I'm just too tired and lazy.

Below I've linked some other amazing tulle or tulle-similar skirts (as always, $50 or less) because I grew up in ballet and tulle is like my life. (Did you ever see my wedding dress??) I really want to make a tulle skirt of my own, but I'm just so lazy. I also I'm really hoping at least one of my babies is a girl so I can make them tutus all the time. I'm good at tutus.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

One Year | A Letter To My Miscarried Child

Dear Lil Pumpkin,

Today would be your first birthday. When your dad and I discussed that the other day we were both amazed. We couldn't picture ourselves as parents to a one-year-old.

It's amazing what I year can do. A year ago I was still suffering, still crying on a daily basis from losing you, lost to my religion, lost to any direction in my life, and broken, seemingly beyond any repair.

Now a year later, I hardly ever cry, despite thinking of you on a daily basis, I'm stronger in my religion than I have been in years, I have a new job, new life goals, and I am pregnant with your younger sibling.

At thirteen weeks I am still terrified of what might happen. I was fifteen weeks when I found out I had lost you. Your Aunt was much further along when she lost your cousin Jamison. I don't see pregnancy as a guarantee and I'm constantly worried about what might happen.

I don't believe I could survive another miscarriage. Not now at least. I was meant to have a one-year-old by now, but I don't. I was meant to be a mother for a year now, but I'm not. And I still have to wait until October to become one.

I have so many fears with this pregnancy. What if I lose this one too? What do I say when people ask if this is my first? Do I talk about you? What if I begin to forget about you? Will this child be healthy? Will they survive? How could I possibly cope with losing another child?

I hope to never, not even for a day, forget about you. You are my first child, my angel child. I had prayed and waited a year for you. I prayed daily that you would be healthy and safe, and came to terms with the fact that you would be safer and healthier if you never came to earth.

Not a day has passed since you left that I haven't thought about you. Every holiday over the past year I thought about how different our celebrations would have been with you there. I miss you and I hope you know I could never replace you, but I need a child. One I can hold and care for.

I'll always love you. I'm grateful for the time I had with you. And I'm grateful that I get another opportunity to become a mother on earth.

Watch over all your siblings until it's their time to come. I know you're a great big sibling.


Your Mother

Sunday, April 2, 2017

General Conference April 2017 Thoughts

Hello, friends! This post is going to be a bit of a mess. I'm going to just type up thoughts and quotes while watching General Conference. I'll clean it up the best I can before posting it Sunday night, but these will be the things that stick out to me the most while watching/listening.

I rarely do this, but I'm trying something new. Oh, I did not listen to Women's Conference so that's not on here. I hope to listen to it soon. Thank you to the LDS Conference Twitter page for the images I've shared as well.  Enjoy!


Pres. Henry B. Eyring - "Gathering the Family of God"

-The names 'Brother and Sister' are more than just terms of endearment. 
-We accepted Heavenly Father's plan and accepted the sacrifice with a promise to obey the commandments. 
-Family history has made a big increase in recent years. 
-"God knew that you would be drawn to your ancestors in love."

MY THOUGHTS: As I have since my miscarriage, when I hear a talk on family and the importance of raising children, I tend to zone out. But I do love the quote above. All families are different and imperfect, including my own, but I was so blessed to have parents who love me unconditionally and have shown me throughout my life what true love really is. 

Brother M. Joseph Brough - "His Daily Guiding Hand"

-God has created a "care package" to help us return to him. 
-Never disregard the counsel of your bishop. They are there to guide us. 
-More import than words is our example of living the gospel. 

MY THOUGHTS: I love the idea that scriptures, family, friends, and the church are all a "care package" that God has given us to help us survive the trials of life. That's probably my favorite metaphor ever. He knows exactly what we need and he provides us with everything we need to return to him and to find happiness. He is the source of all the tools we need to live a rich and fulfilling life. 

Elder Weatherford T. Clayton - "The Plan of Salvation"

-If we repent, we suffer less. 
-"Even in our moments of deepest grief, in the moments when time stands still and life seem unfair, we can find comfort in our Savior because he suffered as well."
-"Come and live a happy Christ filled life."

MY THOUGHTS: Honestly, I didn't listen to this one as much. But the last quote that I wrote, "Come and live a happy Christ filled life" speaks to me. I have referred a lot lately to a quote by Al Carraway, "With God, life is oh so good!" It's one of my daily mantras. We can only find real happiness through Christ. 

Elder Dale G. Renlund - "Our Good Shepherd"

Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...