Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Smart Phone Envy

If you follow me on Twitter, you may already know that I have major smart phone envy and Tweet about it a lot. So you're probably thinking that this blog post was bound to happen eventually. You're right. And here it is. 

Once upon a time at my delightful job as a janitor and particular toilet in the women's restroom kept getting clogged. It was a strange occurrence and we couldn't figure it out. After almost a month, a more professional plummer took a look and found something inside the toilet drain, blocking it. What do you suppose this object was? ...an iPhone.

First of all, who drops their phone in the toilet and just flushes it away? I mean seriously! And not even tell anyone! Not even try to find a janitor and be like, "My phone fell in the toilet, can you get it out for me?" Nope. This girl just dropped it in and flushed it down, because apparently she's rich enough to just flush her iPhone down the drain.

Secondly, every person I know who has a smart phone mistreats it like this. Not usually to this extreme, but all my friends with smart phones break their smart phones frequently and have to get them replaced or repaired frequently. (With the exclusion of my parents and other adults, they tend to take good care of their phones.)

My husband, for example, has a smart phone and has dropped it in a river while fishing and has cracked the screen. It's a miracle phone and he's never had to get it repaired, but regardless, even my husband mistreats his smart phone.

I have had the same crappy phone for two years. The worst I've ever put it through was when it was sitting on a glass table that ended up breaking (long story) and the glass shards cut my screen. And that wasn't even my fault! And it's still in working condition, even if it's a horrible condition to begin with.

It seems as though everyone these days has a smart phone, and everyone expects you to have a smart phone too! In class a professor of mine was like, "Get out your phones and look this up for me." But I can't. You see those special square barcodes everywhere that are meant for smart phones and it says the most vague statement then says "Scan for details". I never get to know what that vague statement means. At stores all the times when the cashier asks if I have coupons, when I say no, they usually respond with "You can get coupons right to your smart phone if you download this app." Well that would be nice, but I don't have a smart phone!

Seriously, who doesn't have a smart phone these days? On campus and in class almost everyone I see is playing on their smart phones. So how can I not suffer from smart phone envy?

I think I deserve a smart phone. After breaking a laptop, a camera, and an iPod, I've learned to take super good care of my technology. Although technically the laptop first went bad when my roommate slammed it in her car trunk, the camera got hit while I was on a ride at Disneyland, and the iPod fell off a table; none of which prove I take bad care of my stuff, only that I'm unlucky sometimes. But just look at my Kindle Fire. I've had it for almost two years and I take super good care of it and it is still in perfect condition. And considering I've been wanting a smart phone since forever, I'd definitely take good care of it.

I'm sick of being judged and left out for not having a smart phone. It's so unfair that our world is now prejudice against those with simple phones. I feel like I can't do all the things the smart phone people can. I can get lost because I don't have GPS on my phone. I can't get coupons right to my phone. I can learn what the vague sentence means without a smart phone. I can't use Snapchat or Instagram without a smart phone...

...And trust me, I've tried to use Instagram without a smart phone but they are very much against it. I have a whole lot to say on this subject, but that'll be for another day... Grrr...

So if you've made it to the end of this rant, you are well aware of the fact that I WANT A SMART PHONE!! I suffer from major smart phone envy and I just don't think it's fair, because I wouldn't drop my phone in the toilet and flush it away.

Do you suffer from smart phone envy? Leave a comment below and let me know I'm not the only person in the world without a smart phone! 


  1. ha ha ha, I can't believe some girl dropped her phone in the toilet. Too funny!

  2. yeah its true, i think people have too much money xd


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