Thursday, December 5, 2013

My Darkness // Leave of Absence

Hey friends! So I haven't written in a while, and you're probably thinking "Yeah you did, you wrote a Web Video Wednesday post yesterday and a Holiday Gift Guide Monday." But in all honestly I wrote those a while ago they just were published automatically.

I've mentioned casually in this blog that I have depression. Right now I'm going through one of my depressive phases. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like there is this darkness inside of me and it wants to control me and bring me down. It makes me incredibly moody and sad, I'm so tired all the time, and I have absolutely no motivation (but I've forced myself to go to all my classes and have been to the gym every night this week, I'm trying to push past it all). Basically I'm not myself right now.

My main lack of motivation is this blog. The past week I have not been able to write because I just have this darkness hurting me and even just looking at this blog has been stressing me out because I want it to be perfect but I can't push past the darkness to feel good about this blog. So I'll be taking a short break and focusing on finals and moving next week. Sorry.

I'm hoping to write a post about depression in the near future, because in my experience people just don't understand it and if I tell people I have depression they freak out and don't know what to do. So I want to write about my depression, my experiences, my story, and some tips on how to react to people with depression. I think this is a really important topic and many people should know about it. But don't expect the post to come till January, because I don't want to ruin the fun holiday season.

Okay, so I need to stop writing for a while for my mental and emotional health, but just know that I love all my readers, I love all your love and support, you all mean so much to me, I wish I could meet you all personally, give you a hug and tell you how grateful I am for you. Thank you. I'll be back again as soon as I can. :)


  1. I'm sorry you feel that way. Take your time and feel better. I went through some depression when I found out I was pregnant again. I felt like I couldn't be good at anything. My aunt gave me some really great advise. I don't know if it will help you our, but I really helped me so I want to share it with you. Here's the link to it if you want to check it out.

    I'm impressed you are still making it to class and the gym. I hope things turn around for you and you can enjoy Christmas.

    1. Thank you so much! I've been through it before but it's always hard. Things already have been getting better. I just have a lot of stress with finals and moving.


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