Monday, July 15, 2013

2:51 AM

It is currently 2:51.... no wait, now 2:52 AM. I am not sleeping because my stomach hurts and my mind is a buzz with all the things I have to do tomorrow. I'm also stressed. Very very stressed. But what ever would someone who is a newlywed and unemployed have to worry about??? Unemployment.

Everyday I just feel like a failure. I've been applying for jobs for two months and have nothing to show for it. I haven't even been getting interviews! I've had one interview during this whole process. If I was getting more interviews, at least, I wouldn't feel like such a failure.

I've always been good at finding and getting jobs but this time around things are not going in my favor. I've just been sitting at home, applying like crazy and getting fat. Okay, not fat, but I have gained a lot of weight since my wedding. There's no way I'd fit in my wedding dress now. I'm working on that. I've started working out again and it makes me feel better.

But I only wish I could find a job soon. It's causes insomnia. It might be the cause of my stomach issues right now (I doubt it, but we'll go with that for now). And it causes my self-esteem to drop WAY low. And it doesn't help that every day I have someone asking me, "Have you found a job yet?" Nope. Because I'm a failure.

But here I am at 3:00 AM filling out job applications online because I can't sleep. Because why not cure my insomnia by applying for jobs? Sounds logical to me.


So, I can't let this whole post be depressing!! Today I had a wonderful relaxing Sunday with my husband. Sundays are always for movies! We watched a lot of movies today. We watched Up, Despicable Me, The Amazing Spider-man and Captain America. I love all these movies very much! (Notice that we went in order from child movie to adult. Also, notice that I linked all those titles to IMDB. This is because I LOVE IMBD! One of my favorite things to do in my spare time is go on IMDB and look up one of my favorite movies then go to the "Trivia" on it. I've learned some very interesting and amazing things by doing that.)

We also went on our traditional Sunday walk. I love our Sunday walks because we hold hands and walk around and enjoy each other's company. Today we found a secret pathway!! We'll go back and I'll get pictures because it was very cool! We saw a pheasant and goats and an adorable wind-mill thingy and it went past a river (that's not really a river) and it felt like trespassing but it was so much fun! I'm definitely getting pictures next time.

I always enjoy Sundays being married. We get to be lazy and no one judges us because it's a "day of rest". :) Good times, always good times.

Oh! This week I'm throwing my best friend a bridal shower and I will have lots of pictures to show for that when it's over. Today I made a really cute decoration for it and I'm very excited! It should be really great! Lauren, start getting excited!!! :)

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